Despite the pain, fear, anguish and feeling of being totally betrayed by my body, I am grateful for the silver lining of the brain tumour recurrence.
1. I've noticed that I am consistently trying to look on the bright side of situations. I find myself looking at my blessings and at the beauty of the world we live in, and smiling widely, allowing myself to truly feel happy and alive.
2. I am fortunate to have the family that I created, and was born into. I appreciate them all far more now than I did a year ago. Ruby has a horrible habit of crying every single time we put her to sleep and sometimes I feel so sorry for her that I go in and give her a long hug to help her settle down. While I'm in the solitude of her room and feeling joy at being able to console my gorgeous daughter, I thank whatever is above us for giving me everything I could have ever wanted.
3. I am grateful for Professor Charlie Teo, for without him I would be in a very different position to the one I am in now (multiple second opinions refused to operate). I am grateful to Dr Teo for giving me a life that I love (apart from the tumour part). I am, also grateful to him for being such an incredible surgeon that despite the tricky location of the tumour, he removed it so perfectly that I am able to live, with no neurological deficits, as if it never occured. Thank you Charlie.
4. This saga has caused a great deal of introspection whereby I have learned a lot about who I am, where I am at emotionally and how I deal with things.
5. I now only want to do things that make me happy rather than wasting my time with people or on things that I feel I have to do or are the right thing to do.
6. Sadly, so many people are struggling in far worse ways than me. I am still alive and showing no sign of leaving any time soon. I get to live in a beautiful place with beautiful people. It's a real privilege and I feel so much more privileged than I did before the recurrence.